miserable

To, The woman I loved the most

I dedicate this blog to you

I thought that I loved the female who was called sana, means child of god, I shouldn’t get surprised of what I am writing here as I always felt this way for her I mean I loved her more than anything in this world, but actually that doesn’t make me anyone to decide everything and anything she has to do. I tried to do this to her all the times because of my possessiveness and some other times because I thought that she will hurt herself. Most of the times, I felt that she wasn’t that grown up to handle things on her own that persuaded me to take decisions in her regards, I guess this is where I went wrong as I am no one to monitor or to manipulate, anyways that’s all my gut feeling that keeps me saying that you are the only one for her and without you she may loose the directions and her morale. I am wrong I know now, but I am too late to realize this, she is gone, god knows where or with whom, I tried, I tried too many a times, to know where she is. How she is? But things are not same now, and they are conditional this time, punishing, and much painful. Hell, if I care, for my pain, but I do, I really do, for her. I feel distressful, hateful, infamous, enormous, counter, reprehensible,distressing, rank, noisome, hopeless, dirty, lumpen, blameworthy,measly, egregious,meretricious, harmful, sore, foul, dismaying, out of humor, in bad humor, cut up, dismal, arrant, ruthful,petty, moving, schlock, disconsolate, cheap, slummy,mournful, horrible, gimcracky, squalid, opposing, pitiful, low-down, sharp, uncheerful, dreadful, trashy, indolent, out of sorts,woeful, shameful, cheesy, contemptible, despairing, depraved, untoward,trying, scruffy, comfortless,sorrowful,unsmiling, joyless,unmirthful, painful, cheerless, atrocious, common, despicable, depressing, slumlike, bitter, deep-troubled, unmentionable, lamentable, valueless, afflictive, detestable, unclean, stressful, rubbishy, uncheery, touching, woebegone, scuzzy,sinister,heart-struck,filthy, opposite, base, execrable, desolate, detrimental, unjoyful, opposed, afflicted, grim, mean, flagrant, forlorn, heartsick, discomforting, uncomfortable,terrible, grave, loathsome, gross, nasty, worst, sad, scrubby, worthless, sorry,sorryish,miserable, scurvy, nefarious,rigorous, shabby, beneath contempt, pitiable, difficult, inimical, odious, vile, adverse,grievous, conflicting, beggarly, mangy, paltry,melancholy, pathetic, fetid, repulsive, lousy, saddening, counteractive, abominable, hard, little, gaudy, brutal,unfavorable,scabby, in opposition, beastly, horrid, offensive, shocking, dolorific, rueful, bleak, awful, scandalous, monstrous, poky, twopenny, notorious, obnoxious,antagonistic, trumpery, troublous, despondent, too bad, deplorable,contrary, heinous, sordid,mirthless, humorless, low, stricken, pleasureless, ignoble, rotten, disgusting, debased,abject, heart-stricken,dolorous,poor, discontented, crushed, dire, depressive, villainous, small, fulsome, servile, infestive,troublesome, dolorogenic, outrageous, degraded, crummy, suicidal, scummy,hostile,regrettable, piteous, unhappy, reptilian, dreary, poignant, doleful,affecting, shoddy.

 

God bless her